How to survive when your new boyfriend’s not vintage
Socialising
Can you make someone go to a jive masterclass when their idea of dancing is vomiting on a stranger in the mosh pit? Yes you can. But you must make it fun. Remember the civilian’s idea of a night out might not involve as many fascinators and Shellac records as you are used to. For this reason you must talk up the social and alcoholic aspects of any vintage-related event.
Try using calming phrases like ‘I know partner dancing is anathema to your modern sensibilities but we can get totally shitfaced first’ Or ‘Won’t your friends be jealous when they find out you have made friends with a ukelele quintet?’ If he remains unconvinced try a bargaining tactic – you will attend the hip hop night at the local discotheque and not complain about his dullard chums, while he in turn will sit through the Bette Davis season at the BFI and will not complain when you shout ‘You are Blanche, you are in that chair’ at the screen.
Lifestyle
He can get used to the fact you collect china ornaments and wear an apron when cooking but if you move in together, or stay at each others’ houses a lot, these differences could begin to grate. What’s wrong with a thong, he’ll moan, and why do you never wear the latest denim styles. You, on the other hand will despair at the minimalist décor of his bedroom and propensity for thinking models are ‘fit’. The answer to this dilemma is quite simple, you must encourage him to spank you repeatedly with your favourite Mason Pearson until all such unharmonious thoughts are far from both your minds.
Category: Vintage news
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This is GENIUS in every way. i wish, I wish, I wish I had seen this before my last relationship ended so I could have used the line, “perhaps you should go out with someone less vintage.” I love it! jx
This happens a lot here in the states, because a man’s interest in anything vintage pretty much implies he is either religiously conservative (cars, guns, military) or gay (clothes, movies, music).
I hear a lot of retro gals *wish* their guy would get with the passion, but truth be told, they probably picked him because he’s more of a man if he’s a conventional “lad.” If he got into it, great, but if he already WAS into it she probably would have found him less desirable.
Got any tips for Chaps going out with non vintage girls??
Same tactics? You could start by buying her a few vintage accessories (think bags, jewellery, maybe vintage inspired underwear). Or buy her vintage versions of stuff that is ‘on trend’ right now on the high street: 40s tea dresses, 50s Grace Kelly style or – if you can bear it- 80s stuff.
You could also buy her a vintage hair styling make-over as a present so to gently introduce her to eye liner and lip stick.